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Blonde Jokes

Postby Calypso » Sun Apr 20, 2008 6:15 pm

Does anyone know any good blonde jokes? (And no, I'm not trying to be offensive. I am blonde. Or at least I was before I went gray.)

Here's my favorite.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island together. As they walk along the sea shore, the brunette finds an odd looking lamp. She picks it up and begins to rub it and sure enough, out pops a genie! "Since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish," he says, and turns to the brunette. "You first."

"Well," says the brunette, "I really miss my husband. We've only been married a few months and I love him and I hate the thought of having to live without him and him living without me. I wish I were home."

"Done," says the genie with a nod of his head, and the brunette disappears. Next the genie turns to the redhead.

"Well," says the redhead, "I have a job that I love very much, and I'm definitely on the fast track to success. I'd hate to think of putting in all that time and energy for nothing. I wish I were home, too."

"Done," says the genie, and with a nod of his head the redhead, too, vanishes. "And now you may have the last wish," the genie says to the blonde.

The blonde looks around the island. "Gosh," she says, "now I'm really lonely. I wish my friends were back!"
Calypso
 
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Re: Blonde Jokes

Postby stav » Sun Apr 27, 2008 7:02 pm

so you want some blonde jokes? you are going to be really really sorry you asked :D

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit

================================================

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

============================================================

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
stav
 
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Re: Blonde Jokes

Postby MrsH » Sun Apr 27, 2008 8:43 pm

hehe I'm not blonde but i behave like one of somedays. Its funny though because we have almost the same jokes about swedes. Here is one:

A norwegian guy was having some trouble with the his signal light on the back of his car. He was not sure if it was working or not. He asked his friend the swede if he could stand behind the car and see if it worked. So the norwegian sits in his car and switch the turn signal on, from behind the car he hear:

Working
not working
working
not working...
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Re: Blonde Jokes

Postby Calypso » Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:03 am

Here's another one of my favorites.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are arrested as spies in a foreign country and sentenced to die in front of a firing squad.

The brunette faces the firing squad first. The lieutenant calls out, "Ready, aim--"

"TORNADO!" shouts the brunette. The men all drop their guns and scramble for safety, and the brunette escapes unharmed.

Next comes the redhead. Again the lieutenant calls out, "Ready, aim--"

"HURRICANE!" cried the redhead. Again the men drop their guns and run for cover, and the redhead escapes.

Finally the blonde is placed in front of the firing squad. The lieutenant says, "Ready, aim--"

And the blonde yells out, "FIRE!"
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Re: Blonde Jokes

Postby davidchatman » Sat Jul 23, 2011 7:54 am

here is one of my favorite
Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.

They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let's just pick one whether it's decorated or not!"
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Re: Blonde Jokes

Postby jorolo87 » Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:26 pm

Funny Jokes folks, thanks a lot :)
eBookReader101.org - My First Blog
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